media

“Adam just caught the most gigantic bass, Mom,” my son exclaims as if Adam is a neighbor, a school friend, or at the very least, someone I know. But I quickly realize my eleven-year-old son is referring to one of his favorite “YouTubers.” Adam and others like him are creeping more and more into my son’s conversation and I recognize he’s learning new terminology, visiting new places, and encountering a host of new experiences. For this reason, I am eager to get to know Adam, understand the reason for my son’s enthusiasm, and explore what he is teaching through his videos.

My son is not alone. A large number of U.S. children have told Highlights in their 2018 State of the Kid survey that celebrities are a key and growing influencer in their lives. Yes, parents remain the top influencer and second and importantly, teachers also capture children’s admiration. But increasingly our children also look to the personalities on their screens for role modeling. Whether it’s an e-gamer (playing competitive video games) or a reality television show star or a professional athlete, fifteen percent of children ages 6-12 report that they admire and respect celebrities. In addition to noting that those role models are caring and kind, they said they were generous, helped others, were smart, and knowledgeable.

It’s no surprise that celebrities are rising in their influence considering that the average child is on screens between seven and eight hours per day. As parents, we know the dangers that lurk with a simple word search and click of a “return” key, so we may feel worried, even fearful, as our child explores the world through our home screens. Yet if she or he were to join a club, organization, or extracurricular, we wouldn’t hesitate to get to know those involved. The same is true for our child’s digital community.

We have an opportunity to lean in and learn from our resident experts and enthusiasts, our children. It won’t serve our trusting relationship if we play “Gotcha!” attempting to catch our child straying into the danger zone. But if we genuinely express interest and allow our child to lead our exploration, they may just grant us entry. We’ll have the chance to become reflective with them about what they are viewing, preparing our kids with the skills and tools they need to become screen smart. In turn, we’ll grow in our own ability to trust their new and ever-expanding world.

How to Connect Over Celebs

Getting to know our child’s influencers when we can shake a hand and make eye contact seems do-able. But what about celebrity influencers? How do we get to know them? Here are a few tips for parents.

1. Ask your child about their interests and influencers with an open mind.

Though we may fear what they could run into as they surf the web, their digital community is just that, yet another group they engage with. If your child joined a school club like the Girl Scouts, you’d learn more about all of the individuals involved. So too with their digital community, get to know the players involved led by your child.

2. Select and review new content together.

Help your child learn to become proactive about reviewing appropriateness of content with you and explain why that’s important showing the benefit. If your child has ever encountered a terrifying video, ask if those images have stayed in his or her mind. That’s an easy, relatable way to explain that not all content is appropriate or desirable (for kids and for adults!). Seek out review sites like Common Sense Media. Together type in the new app, game, or movie and learn more before viewing!

3. Share regular updates on influencers.

At family dinners, the conversation may naturally turn to the events of the day. If you know that a YouTube star is influencing your child, then bring that influencer into your conversation. “What’s he up to lately?” If that star makes a poor decision that could herself or others, discuss her other choices and the real-world consequences of those choices. Keeping an open conversation can not only give you invaluable insights into who your child is looking to for social cues, but also could keep your child safe, since she’ll know she can come to you if and when there is a problem.

4. Replace fear with curiosity and empathy.

After all, fear comes from the unknown. If we, as parents, are in touch with our child’s influencers, we don’t have to fear them. We can recall our own experiences of teen idol posters taped up on our bedroom walls. Or recall when we dog-eared and carefully noted the time when a television special would air our favorite star. Our children are feeling that same glow of admiration. And we can join in their enjoyment as we cuddle up next to them and their iPad to learn more.

The community of influencers on our children has and will continue to grow. Our ability to reach out, learn, and connect with those individuals will only deepen our trust and intimacy with our children. As for me, I’m delighted that my son, his friends, and indeed U.S. children are focused on learning from adults who are caring, kind, and generous.

By Caroline Knorr, Parenting Editor, Common Sense Media 

Some schools use a little technology: a few educational apps to mix things up, maybe a weekly trip to the computer lab. Some use a lot: one-to-one device programs, class management systems, and automated grade-reporting. Many districts are even adopting schoolwide networks with names you'll recognize, such as Google Classroom and the Facebook-engineered Summit Learning System. Time will tell if all this technology better prepares students for a digital world. But one thing is true: If it's digital, it uses data, and that means your kid's information is more valuable -- and more vulnerable -- than ever. Schools need to safeguard student privacy as fiercely as a mama bear -- and you, as the parent, need to know how they're doing it. Here are the right questions to ask, and the answers you should expect, to make sure any tech your kid uses at school is protecting your kid's privacy.

How does the school decide if the educational software or apps it uses protect my kid's privacy?

Your kid's school should review the privacy policies of any software or device that requires your kid to log in with a screen name and password. You can ask for a copy of the product's privacy policy, or you can talk to the teacher or your principal to get assurances that they know what they're doing.

What you should hear in the school's answer:

• Stored data is encrypted, password protected, and only available to certain administrators who need it for educational purposes. Ask who that person is.
• Companies don't collect more information than they need for educational purposes -- and those reasons are clearly and narrowly defined. Keep an eye out for requests for personal information that don't seem relevant to education (for example, your religious beliefs).
• Companies don't trade or sell student info to others. If you suspect your kid's information has been sold (because you're receiving ads in the mail, etc.), notify your school administrator.
• More than one person (for example, a teacher, administrator, and an IT professional) reviews the companies' policies. Ask for their names in case you need them.

Even better: The company supplying the software has undergone some sort of third-party vetting or evaluation process -- such as the evaluation offered by Common Sense Media's Privacy Initiative. The list of companies and software used is frequently updated and accessible to parents and students. Find out where the list is.

What information does the school collect and how is it stored? 

Schools need to offer a clear educational purpose for any personal information it asks for. (Social Security numbers are an example of information many schools have collected in the past, but not any longer because they couldn't justify the educational purpose of collecting that data.)

What you should hear in the school's answer:

• The school asks for basic identification only -- for example, name, address, and phone number.
• The school encrypts any information it receives and uses security procedures to protect any data in transit. That means no one can read the information without authorized security clearance and a password. Ask how they do this.

Even better: The school restricts access to information solely to those who need to know it -- for example, only a school nurse has access to medical information, via passwords, technical controls, or other physical safeguards. The school deletes information once it is no longer needed for your kid's education or required to be kept by state or federal law. Ask exactly when your kid’s information will be deleted.

Who can get access to the school's list of students and their contact information?

Federal law limits who can get access to a school's directory of basic stuff like your kid's name, address, telephone number, and other general information.

What you should hear in the school's answer:

• Schools comply with the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) by notifying parents of any information that they collect and what directory information includes, as well as providing parents the choice to to opt out.
• The method of notification is up to the school, so ideally they should use methods that will get your attention, such as a letter sent home that you have to sign. Ask how they notify parents: by email, a letter home, etc.?
• Ideally, schools offer easily accessible and flexible opt-in and opt-out consent options -- not merely one blanket form that opts you into, or out of, everything.
• Some schools offer a checklist that lets you choose which information to share with which third parties. For example, you may feel comfortable sharing your student's name and address with the developer of your kid's reading software application, but you may not feel comfortable sharing your student’s dates of attendance.
• Or even though the school is allowed to share directory information with your kid's after-school program, it gives you the option not to. Ask how your school manages distributing this information.

Even better: Under FERPA, schools are actually allowed to disclose certain directory information without your consent. A yearbook publisher, a class-ring manufacturer, and military recruiters are a few examples of outside organizations to which the school can send directory information. But some of this information is fairly personal, including place of birth, honors, awards, and dates of attendance. A school that's being careful will ask for consent before disclosing this or any other information. Ask if your school does this.

When do I need to provide consent for my student to use software at school?

Schools are allowed to provide consent on behalf of parents when they're using an app that collects information solely for educational purposes, such as an app that helps teachers take attendance. The school, the district, or an authorized teacher should ask parents to provide consent if any software or applications used in the classroom will collect information from students that's not for an exclusively educational purpose. When parental consent is requested the notice to parents should include how they can provide consent and what practices they are consenting to.

What you should hear in the school's answer:

• Schools should notify parents, for example as a list on their webpage, of all educational software that the school has consented to students using, what data it's collecting, how the data is used, and how the data is protected.
• Schools should generally not ask for parental consent as a way to limit their own liability. When schools ask for consent, the school should have verified beforehand that the software is safe and that there is no safer or non-commerical alternative that could substitute for that software.

Even better: Schools ask for consent when they use educational products that are not essential. For example, if a student could learn a concept using an existing math worksheet rather than playing a digital math game -- and the teacher wouldn't have to create a worksheet specifically for that student -- the game is likely not essential. In that case it's nice if schools want to give parents the option to consent or not.

What's the school's policy on Bring Your Own Device (BYOD)?

BYOD programs are a lower-cost way for schools to integrate technology into the classroom. But tablets and laptops store a lot of sensitive information, including personal data (name, address, etc.), raw data such as performance reports, and "cookies" -- the personal identifiers that track your student’s path around the internet. Also, many students may not have reliable broadband internet access at home in which to complete online assignments, so BYOD should be used in conjunction with other programs at school.

What you should hear in the school's answer:

• The school vets the privacy policies of all third-party programs installed on your student’s devices and makes sure that they comply with the Children's Online Privacy and Protection Act (COPPA). Look up any app the school recommends on Common Sense Media or Common Sense Education to double-check its practices.

Even better: The school has a written process about device searches (which includes notifying you before the device is searched). Schools should ideally not install monitoring software, track the device's location, or remotely access the camera on a student's personal device. Be aware though that schools are required to monitor their internet networks under federal law, and some student data may be collected through that monitoring. Ask who within the school and district can access any device-specific tracking information and when this information is deleted.

By Christine Elgersma, Senior Editor, Parent Education at Common Sense Media 

If your kid's online, there have probably been times when you've wanted to track everything they've texted, see their entire social media history, or just shut off the internet entirely. Those are the times you wish for the perfect parental controls -- something that will grant you all the access and authority you want without making a bad situation worse. The truth is, while clicking a few buttons on a hardware device or downloading a monitoring service seem like no-brainers, the most effective parental control is free and knows your kid very well. That's right: It's you. Digital tools and settings can help you stay on top of your kid's online life, but can't replace staying involved, having conversations, and helping them make responsible choices. Need more convincing? Here are the key reasons why you are the best parental control around:

Fighting tech with tech can fail.

If they put their minds to it, kids can defeat almost any parental control. One of the truisms of the digital age is that your kids probably know more than you do, and it's easy for them to Google "How do I get around parental controls?" and read step-by-step instructions for dismantling your carefully chosen software or device. Of course, there are tools that do what they promise and offer you some comfort and control … at least for a while. So, if shutting down the internet via a tap is helpful for your family, pairing it with conversations likely will make it more effective. And if your kid does an end run around your parental control, let them learn to code so they can channel their skills in a positive way.

Spying isn't sustainable.

Kids -- especially older kids -- may feel like parental controls invade their privacy. According to one study, the loss of trust prompted by parental controls can weaken your whole relationship. Simply shutting the internet off is one thing, but if you try to track your kid's social media accounts or read their text messages, they may just create new profiles and take their conversations to other platforms far away from your prying eyes. Instead, when you decide it's time for them to go online or have a phone, let them know upfront that you'll do spot-checks -- not to "catch them" or get in their business -- but to support them as they learn balance in the digital world. If you decide to use parental-control devices or platforms, integrate them into ongoing conversations so they can serve as a safety net as your kid is learning the ropes. The world of digital media and its influence on our kids are far too complicated for simple solutions or ultra-strict oversight.

What you say makes more of an impact.

Instead of flipping a switch, be the voice in their head. Teaching and modeling a healthy approach to the online world will have a much more lasting impact. Being able to shut down the internet in your home at key times can be very helpful, but it's also a bit like always fastening your kid's seatbelt for them: Eventually, we want them to remember to buckle up on their own. To get a kid to really remember something, research shows that some information requires repetition over time. A combination of showing them a healthy approach and discussing media and tech use over time, on multiple occasions, will help kids regulate themselves and build skills to carry into adulthood. When you say things like, "Remember to think before you post," "Don't talk to strangers on the internet," and "Use strong privacy settings," they'll remember. As new technology comes and goes, we are our kids' North Star, the constant guidance in a constellation that keeps changing shape, and tech-based parental controls will never shine as brightly as our influence.

Sharing instead of shutting down sparks learning.

Sometimes we let our kids use devices because we're looking for a few minutes to get something finished, and setting time limits and doing spot checks -- verbally or with digital parental controls -- is important. But the more we can watch and play with our kids, the more they'll learn from the media they're using. Research shows that just sitting with your kid while you watch heightens their awareness, which can make them more receptive to learning. It can also boost literacy skills and empathy, and -- since we know our kids best -- when moments come up in media that apply specifically to our kids' lives, we can use those instances to start a discussion, ask questions, and make connections. Also, the more we model this dialogue with media for our kids, the more they can look at it critically, ask questions themselves, and take away lessons for their own lives.

By Caroline Knorr, Parenting Editor, Common Sense Media 

As parents, we have a natural instinct to choose who we want our kids to be friends with -- and who we'd rather they not hang around. The same instinct kicks in for media role models. We like Doc McStuffins because she's smart and kind. SpongeBob? Maybe not so much.

In today's 24/7 media environment, in which kids may be spending more time with media than they are with their parents, choosing positive role models is more important than ever. By the time kids are in middle school, they start to look to their peers for a sense of what's socially acceptable or desirable. Parents may remain the primary influence in their kids' lives, but the competition starts to get fierce at this age. This separation is entirely age appropriate. But when the media comes into play, the values you want to pass down to your kids may be competing against, say, Homer Simpson's. Or, folks like Logan Paul, who's YouTube channel has millions of followers and is hugely influential (for all the wrong reasons).

In fact, the stars of social media are just as likely to be role models as traditional celebrities. These so-called influencers reach out to kids via TV, YouTube, video games, Twitter, and music -- all of which are broadcast or easily accessible 24 hours a day. And as we all know, not all the characters or people who gain popularity through these channels have stellar role-model credentials.

The good news is that there are plenty of positive role models you can point to that may influence your kids to make healthy choices, learn to respect others, achieve goals, and avoid anti-social behavior. Negative role models -- especially ones who don't suffer consequences for their actions -- can encourage anti-social behavior, stereotypes, and even cruelty. Help your kids choose positive media role models who embody the values you want to pass down.

Tips for parents of young kids

• Limit screen time. Kids grow and thrive best through personal interaction. Spending time with them, playing, and reading are great ways to build a foundation to impart your values.
• Find age-appropriate content. Kids ages 2-7 should be exposed to media featuring good role moles, racial and gender diversity, and no stereotypes. Check out some of the positive role models on YouTube. 
• Encourage positive socialization. Look for role models who impart positive social lessons, like sharing and being a good friend.
• Respect differences. Encourage kids this age to accept and respect people who are different by exposing them to media that includes people of diverse backgrounds.

Tips for parents of elementary-aged kids

• Avoid stereotypes. Point out strong female characters or male characters who share their feelings. Try not to reinforce stereotypes in media selection (i.e. princess movies for girls and truck videos for boys), since that can reinforce societal imbalances. Take a look at our lists of Positive Role Model TV for Girls and Movies with Incredible Role Models for Boys. 
• Reinforce your values. Point out words and behavior in popular TV shows, websites, and music that are both positive and negative examples of what you do and don't want your kids to model. What you say to your child is up to you, but have the discussion.
• Flag antisocial behavior. Children like to imitate and pretend to be their favorite characters. When characters say mean things or behave cruelly, discuss the consequences.
• Go with the good stuff. Kids will be inspired by great historical figures, athletes, or TV stars. Take advantage of that adoration by pointing out their good traits, as in, "George Washington was honest. Honesty is an important quality." Not: "Lying is bad. Children who lie get in trouble."

Tips for parents of older kids

• Embrace what they like. Rejecting your kids' love of popular culture can close off avenues of communication. Embrace their world, but establish clear boundaries about what you find acceptable and appropriate. Talk about celebrities that cross the line. 
• Help teens balance their need for rebellion and self-expression with an appreciation of acceptable social action. Kids need to understand how to communicate and use media wisely and ethically. If they engage with media that includes antisocial behavior, make sure they understand the impact and potential consequences.
• Let older kids see things you don't agree with. But then discuss exactly what you don't like with them. Since we won't always be around, we need to make sure to instill critical-thinking skills in our kids.
• Don't shy away from pointing the finger. If your kids (or their schoolmates) are heavy media users and they demonstrate or are on the receiving end of any antisocial behavior or experience eating disorders, addictions, low school performance or depression, connect the dots -- and disconnect the source.

By Sierra Filucci, Editor, Common Sense Media

Media has a huge influence on kids -- and as kids get older, the online world has an even tighter grip on them. You can see it in the way they imitate their favorite TV characters, pretend to be YouTube stars, or beg for T-shirts, backpacks, or comforters emblazoned with logos. But parents still have a huge influence. And moms play a major role in the development and nurturing of kids in a media-filled world. Here are five ways moms can have a positive impact on kids' (media and tech) lives:

Foster positive body image

Kids get lots of iffy messages about appearance from media. Whether your kid is watching sassy tween TV or scrolling through perfect Instagram photos, they're inundated with bikini pics and muscleman heroes. Not only can moms discuss these media images with kids, but they can choose to ban fat talk and body shaming entirely from their homes. Studies show that moms who criticize their own bodies can have a major impact on how kids feel about their own.

Insist on device-free dinner

Sure, more dads are in the kitchen than ever before, but moms remain the primary person in charge of getting dinner on the table. And that means they can set the tone for the meal -- including insisting that all devices are put away so that families can concentrate on each other. Studies show that sharing meals as a family can help everything from behavior to health.

Choose high-quality media

So often mom are the ones in charge of curating kids' media lives. And we can do a lot to steer kids -- especially little ones -- toward top-notch content, from selecting TV shows that foster empathy and other character-building skills for preschoolers to loading up the tablet with educational apps to keep kids busy -- and learning -- during road trips and more.

Stop texting and driving

While both parents drive kids around, it's often moms who spend the most time in the car with kids. And kids are watching when we pick up the phone for a quick text while cruising down the highway. Nix this habit immediately to set a good example for your future drivers. (Plus, it's super dangerous!)

Raise media-literate kids

Moms are responsible for the majority of shopping in most households. This means it's mom's job to negotiate with kids about which logos, phrases, and characters can appear on kids' T-shirts, backpacks, and more. While there's no shame in buying kids the occasional branded goodie, it's a good idea to help kids understand a little bit about how marketing works. Understanding how media companies make money by selling T-shirts can be one step in teaching kids media literacy.

By Christine Elgersma, Common Sense Media

"Just a sec," say nine out of 10 parents answering an email when their kid asks them for something. If it's hard for us to jump out of the digital world, just imagine you're 3 and the lines between fantasy and reality are already blurred -- then throw in a super-engaging, colorful, fun, immersive experience. Or you're 5 and each episode of Mutt &  Stuff on the Nick Jr. app is better than the last. Or you're 8 and you're almost finished building something amazing in Minecraft. Why would you ever want to stop?

This is why getting kids off their devices is so tough. And when threatening doesn't work, and you discover the research that two-minute warnings aren't the best option either, what can you do? Thankfully, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has some new guidelines around screen use that ease some parental guilt, but you still need to get your kid off the iPad at some point. Aside from being a strong role model, try these tips to minimize conflict and find the balance we're all seeking.

• Have another activity lined up (bonus points for making it seem fun). For the youngest device users, transitions are hard -- period.  Even if the next "to do" is a "must do" (such as eating lunch), tell your kid what's coming next. You can rehearse the process: "When I say stop, it's time for the iPad to go night-night. Let's see how fast you can flip it shut! As soon as it's asleep, we can sneak into the other room and paint."
• Use visual and sound cues to help kids keep track of time limits. For kids who don't yet know how to tell time, try a timer that can help put them in charge of the process: "When the time is up, it'll look and sound like this."
• Find apps with built-in timers. Video streamers like Cakey and Huvi throw parents a bone and have internal timers so the app stops on its own. Then it's up to the parent to make sure kiddo doesn't just jump into another app.
• Tell kids to stop at a natural break, such as the end of an episode, level, or activity. It's hard for kids (and adults!) to stop in the middle of something. Before your kid gets on a device, talk about what they want to do or play, what will be a good place to stop, and how long they think it'll take. Set the limit together and hold to it, though a little wiggle room (a couple of minutes so they can finish) is fine.
• Discuss consequences and follow through when kids test the limits. When all else fails, it's important to have discussed consequences for when your kid won't give it up. For little kids, the line can be something like, "If it's too hard to turn off, the tablet has to go away for a whole day." For older kids it's more about keeping devices in a public space, setting expectations, and enforcing them. If they show you they can be partners in moderating and regulating themselves, there can be more flexibility. 

By Caroline Knorr, Common Sense Media, Parenting Editor

If you believe everything you hear about kids online, you might think pedophiles and cyberbullies are around every cyber-corner. Yes, there is bad stuff out there. But the truth is, there's a lot of good, and some experts are arguing against a "techno-panic mindset" that worries parents unnecessarily. The bottom line is that we can't keep our kids safe if we don't know the facts. Here are the five most popular myths about Internet safety -- and the truths that can set your worries free.

Myth: Social media turns kids into cyberbullies.
Truth: There are many reasons why a kid might cyberbully, and social media is just a convenient way to do the dirty work.

The reality is that kids who engage in this behavior typically have something else going on that compels them to act out. They might be in crisis -- at home, at school, or otherwise socially. They may also be bullying in person, or they may have an underdeveloped sense of empathy. Awareness of a cyberbully's circumstances -- though not excusing the behavior -- can help parents and educators recognize the warning signs and potentially intervene before it goes too far.

Myth: Teaching kids not to talk to strangers is the best way to keep them safe online.
Truth: Teaching kids to recognize predatory behavior will help them avoid unwelcome advances.

In today's world, where kids as young as 8 are interacting with people online, they need to know the boundary between appropriate and inappropriate conversation. Kids are often pressured by their own friends to talk about sex, so they need to know it's OK to tell peers to back off. Go beyond "stranger danger" and teach them what kind of questions are not OK (for example, not OK: "Are you a boy or a girl?"; "Where do you live?"; "What are you wearing?"; "Do you want to have a private conversation?"). Also, teach kids to not go looking for thrills online. Risky online relationships more frequently evolve in chat rooms when teens willingly seek out or engage in sexual conversation.

Myth: Social media alienates kids.
Truth: Most kids say social media strengthens their relationships. 

Most kids want to have fun, hang out, and socialize normally online -- and in fact, according to the Pew Research Internet Project, that's what the majority is doing. Check out these comforting stats:

• 57 percent of all teens have made new friends online
• 84 percent of boys who play networked games with friends feel more connected when they play online 
• 68 percent of teen social media users have had online friends support them through tough or challenging times

And how about the kids who've fought cyberbullying and used the Internet for a social cause? More and more, kids are harnessing the power of the online world -- and busting up a few myths along the way.

Myth: It’s dangerous to post pictures of your kids online.
Truth: If you use privacy settings, limit your audience, and don't ID your kids, it’s pretty safe.

Although it's true that posting anything online invites some risks, there are ways to limit them if you're smart about how you do it.

• Use privacy settings. Make sure your privacy settings are set so only the closest people in your network can view your posts.
• Limit your audience. Only share posts with close family and friends. Or use photo-sharing sites such as Picasa and Flickr that require a log-in to see pics.
• Don't rush your kids into social media. Obey the rules about keeping kids under 13 off social media. Once your kids have an online profile, they can be tagged in photos, which magnifies their online presence. If you're going to upload photos of them, don't identify them and don't tag them -- that way the photo can't be traced back to them.

Myth: Parental controls are the best way to monitor my kids’ online activities.
Truth: Focusing on only one Internet safety method lulls you into a false sense of security.

To keep your kids safe online -- and to raise them to be responsible, respectful digital citizens -- it takes more than installing parental controls. For starters, parental controls can be defeated by determined kids. They also often catch too much in their filters, rendering any Internet search useless, and they set up a "parent vs. kid" dynamic that could backfire.

By all means, use parental controls to help prevent exposure to age-inappropriate material and to manage time limits. But don't think they get you off the hook. Continue to discuss responsible, respectful online behavior, set rules and consequences for misbehavior, and train your kid to manage his or her own usage. 

Isn’t it odd that a child can read a magazine, color in an activity book, write a letter to Grandma, devour a chapter book, laugh at a comic strip, snuggle through a favorite picture book for the umpteenth time, or do homework … and we never say she’s getting too much “page time.”

Today, electronic devices deliver equally diverse and enriching experiences, but when it comes to “screen time,” some experts still recommend doling it out by volume, not content.

• Communication apps enable children to see and talk with distant friends or relatives, even sharing a book or animating a story together, across the miles;
• Smartphone cameras help kids capture and relive family outings (and give parents insight into what engaged their child);
• eBooks can replicate print versions; deepen insight into non-fiction topics through print, images and films; or invite play within a fantasy world;
• Creativity programs provide a bottomless box of blocks, or an art set that never breaks or dries out (or draws on walls); and
• Children learn about the world through narrative, and TV and movies offer stories – real and fictional – that engage, inform, educate and inspire, for kids alone or for family co-viewing.

Given this range and depth, I believe screen time is an outdated term, and that parents can — almost always — shelve the timer and look instead at what’s being consumed (or created!).

Context (when, where and why a device is being used) is as important as content. The tablet that is soothing at a doctor’s office may be disruptive in a restaurant. On a third consecutive snow day, parents may be grateful for TV shows they’d deny on a sunny day. The world’s biggest research libraries — Google and YouTube — are invaluable when kids discover a frog in the yard.

Still, children must live in balance, and time limits may make sense if electronics overwhelm a child’s other choices. Kids need active gameplay and exercise, social time with friends or siblings, fantasy play, and exploration in the real world.

Digital and physical experiences should supplement, not replace, each other. Kids need first-hand sensory experiences — drawing with real crayons, throwing an actual ball, turning the pages of a paper magazine, cooking with foods they can then eat.

Most important, every family is different, and parents are best equipped to keep their children’s lives in balance and moderation. Whatever screen time they choose to allow should be wisely invested, using their family values and knowledge of their own children’s needs, interests and abilities to define quality in content and context.

By Christine Elgersma, Common Sense Media

If it's tough for us grown-ups to figure out what's real news and what's fake these days, imagine how difficult it is for kids. Among hearing opinions at home, talking with friends, learning from teachers, reading things online or in print, and seeing news on television, kids have a lot of information to sift through and a lot of sources to evaluate. According to Common Sense Media's report, News and America's Kids: How Young People Perceive and Are Impacted by the News, kids feel scared and depressed about the news. How can we help them?

The answer is media literacy. And it starts with asking questions. By encouraging kids to question what they see and hear, you train them to think critically about information. With strong media-literacy skills, they'll be informed, engaged, and less likely to be taken in by fake news.

Here are some practical tips to help your kid be a smart consumer of the news.

Don't start believin'.

While it's important to be open-minded, in today's world you have to be just a little skeptical of pretty much everything.

• Little kids can build media-literacy skills by analyzing things such as toy packaging and cereal boxes. Tell them to put on their thinking caps (pantomime it!) to get them ready.
• Tweens and teens can start with a little side-eye -- especially at online news -- and avoid sharing, forwarding, and commenting on stories until they've verified that they're true.

It takes all kinds.

Talk about how there are lots of different kinds of news sources: investigative journalism, research studies, opinion pieces, blogs, punditry, evening news, and so on. 

• Kids will hear about the news at home, at school, and in other communities they're a part of. Explain that "word-of-mouth" stories and rumors aren't always true. Playing an old-school game of telephone might illustrate the idea of how information can get twisted along the way.
• Make sure kids know the difference between fact and opinion. If they're older, talk about objective vs. subjective information and bias. Ask them for examples of undisputable facts and colorful opinions.
• Explain the difference between established news organizations that follow certain professional standards and every other type of publisher.
• Watch out for viral videos. Videos that circulate around the internet may or may not contain nuggets of real news, but they rarely represent the whole situation. And, like photos, videos can be doctored and edited to bend the truth. Check out Photoshop fails for visual examples.

From both sides now.

There's usually more than one side to a story.

• Talking about a real-life situation can help little kids understand the idea that different people have different points of view. Ask: "Remember when you and your sister were arguing? How many sides to the story were there?"
• Older kids already understand the concept of perspective but might need help to transfer the idea to the news. Ask them to consider how different audiences (by gender, race, and culture) might interpret a story.

Play bad cop.

Interrogate the source.

• Walk kids through the questions they can ask to test a source's validity:
  • Who made this?
  • Why did they make it? 
  • Is it for or against something or someone? 
  • Are they trying to get a big reaction from me or just inform me? How can I tell?
  • Is anyone else reporting this news?
• Look for signs that the source is legit and not fake, such as a clear "About Us" section and a standard URL (for example, ".com" instead of ".com.co").
• Older kids can dig deeper with fact-checking websites.

Putting the pieces together.

Sometimes the news can be like a puzzle with information coming in bits.

• Just as with a puzzle, we need more than one piece to see the whole picture, so checking other sources is critical.
• Remind kids that it's hard to have all the facts all at once. Even respected news outlets make mistakes or jump the gun. It's smart to wait to make up your mind about something until you have more information.
• Model a wise approach to news by using media-literacy skills yourself. Show kids how you check other sources and ask questions to get as much truth as possible.
• Leave some space for kids to make up their own minds. Of course we want them to respect our values and beliefs, but we also want kids to hold them up to the light to see for themselves.

By Caroline Knorr, Common Sense Media parenting editor

You balance their meals, so why not their media? Learn the secrets to a well-balanced media diet.

Many parents struggle with exactly how much screen time is OK for their kids. Is a half-hour show OK but a full-length movie "bad"? The truth is, there is no magic formula. A healthy media diet is very much like a nutritious meal plan: Some days, they eat all their peas and carrots, and one day they may eat nothing but Cheetos at a birthday party. You figure out ways to make sure they get the right balance over the long term.

A healthy media diet balances three things: what kids do, how much time they spend doing it, and whether their content choices are age-appropriate. At some point, you'll help them take the reins and manage their own use. In the meantime, these tips can help:

Use media together.

• Whenever you can, watch, play, and listen with your kids. Talk about the content.
• When you can't be there, ask them about the media they've used. Help kids question and consider media messages.
• Share your own values. Let them know how you feel about solving problems with violence, stereotyping people, selling products using sex or cartoon characters, or advertising to kids in schools or movie theaters.
• Help kids connect what they learn in the media to events and other activities in which they're involved -- such as sports and art -- to broaden their understanding of the world.

Be a role model.

• When kids are around, set an example by using media the way you want them to use it. Avoid posting everything that happens in your life, ask permission before uploading photos of others, and establish some media-free family time.
• Use media as a tool. Show your kids your mapping program, your news app, or your photo-editing programs. Demonstrate how your devices are a means to an end, not an end unto themselves.
• Avoid using media as a reward or a punishment -- that gives it too much power.

Keep an eye on the clock.

• Establish time limits that work for your family's needs.
• Let kids choose their entertainment options for the day. It could be a show, a game, or a learning app -- but giving them the choice helps them regulate their usage.
• Limit distractions. Keep phones and devices away when kids need to focus on other things -- homework or chores, for example. That'll make it easier for them to stay on task and make media use easier to track.

Learn more about healthy screen time habits at Common Sense Media